2022, Week 5

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Published October 11, 2022

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Standings

	Owner	Total	Record	Top5s	Points	Austin	Collin	Garrett	Jake	John Luke	Mike	Nathan	Ryan	TK	Tyler
1	Collin	9.0	5-0	4.0	687.74	0	0	0	1	1	1	1	1	0	0
2	TK	8.0	3-2	5.0	767.30	-1	0	1	0	0	0	1	-1	0	1
3	Austin	7.0	4-1	3.0	706.26	0	0	1	0	0	-1	1	0	1	1
4	Ryan	6.0	3-2	3.0	658.04	0	-1	0	1	-1	1	0	0	1	0
5	Mike	6.0	3-2	3.0	659.02	1	-1	0	0	1	0	0	-1	0	1
6	Nathan	3.0	2-3	1.0	531.10	-1	-1	0	1	1	0	0	0	-1	0
7	Jake	3.0	1-4	2.0	588.74	0	-1	-1	0	0	0	-1	-1	0	1
8	Tyler	3.0	1-4	2.0	614.88	-1	0	1	-1	0	-1	0	0	-1	0
9	John Luke	3.0	2-3	1.0	555.76	0	-1	1	0	0	-1	-1	1	0	0
10	Garrett	2.0	1-4	1.0	530.42	-1	0	0	1	-1	0	0	0	-1	-1

6.0 Group

Ryan is 1-0 vs Mike
Mike is 0-1 vs Ryan

3.0 Group

Nathan is 2-0 vs Jake/John Luke
Jake is 1-1 vs Nathan/Tyler
Tyler is 0-1 vs Jake
John Luke is 0-1 vs Nathan

Box Scores

Click on game for full box score

Tyler 102.74 - Jake 130.70

Nathan 75.46 - Collin 118.18

Garrett 114.72 - John Luke 139.14

Mike 112.28 - Ryan 162.96

TK 168.88 - Austin 175.86

Next Games

Click on matchup for expanded statistics

Collin (3-3) Garrett
702.28 - 700.10

TK (9-5) Mike
1802.38 - 1672.62

John Luke (11-10) Tyler
2506.36 - 2680.76

Jake (6-10) Austin
1871.28 - 2055.92

Ryan (4-1) Nathan
638.42 - 533.78

If you're only interested in the standings, don't worry, it'll be just below. However, if you're ready to have your world ROCKED with a ballad the likes of which the world hasn't seen since Don McLean released "American Pie" in 1971, the mosey your way on down to the recaps because you will not be disappointed.

As a couple of quick admin notes. TK has been awarded money in 4 of the 5 weeks so far, so someone could chill him out that would be really great. Additionally, we have a new league record for the best game ever. TK and Austin's 168.88 - 175.86 matchup had a game score of 105.1, beating the previously held record of 101.6 from Juan and Tyler's 171-171 playoff tie. It is truly heartbreaking that Austin had to be on the winning side of that. Normally I'd dive into a feat such as this with some analysis, but I already wrote the poem so OH WELL.

Last week (though my absence left it uncelebrated) I joined the 20K point club, and the TK/JL race to 100 wins tightened up. TK now sits at 96, while John Luke sits at 95.

Finally, this week begins the survivor challenge. Each week, the lowest-scoring person of the league will be eliminated from the pool until only one remains. Good luck, gentlemen.

Recaps

Sit with me friends, come gather round
A Sunday tale, rife with touchdowns
This highs, the lows, the ugly too
Points-a-plenty, for chosen few

Our story starts across the pond
Saquon's 20 (I wasn't fond)
Back at home, afternoon kicked off
Collin's top spot primed to be lost

Right away, Garret points galore
Gabe Davis, 98-yard score
He had, at game's end, catches few
But points? He gathered 32

But Garrett's game saw Monday night
Clyde vs Jacobs to win the fight
John Luke, really needing a win
Edged out a dub and earned a grin

Jake, fighting John Luke for last place
Starts his game at sub-hundred pace
But Ekeler ran, and Marquise caught
For Jake's first win, which was hard fought

With the loss, Tyler fell once more
His record down to 1-4
Only 12 points from Ja'Marr Chase
Gives poor Tmo a somber face

Vikings first half made Ryan groan
Twice Dalvin Cook found the endzone
But things would slow down rather fast
As Michael's fortune wouldn't last

The Bills game starts, Ryan's time now
With 45, Josh Allen bows
27 more from Breece Hall
Lockett also showed up to ball

Nate tried to knock off Collin's crown
To no one's shock, he let us down
4 points is all Jared Goff got
Derrick Henry, a lone bright spot

Despite the win, Collin looked bad
8 points is all the Bust Zeke had
Five players fell under ten points
Khalil Herbert stunk up the joint

Last but not least, Austin-TK
Shoe-in best matchup of the day
Monday night, with 168
TK gave his chances to fate

Austin's kicker still left to start
9 points to break young TK's heart
Daniel came through, a stroke of luck
Fuck you Austin, you really suck

Weekly Leaders

QB

Josh Allen

45.16

QB

Patrick Mahomes

38.48

RB

Austin Ekeler

37.90

RB

Leonard Fournette

35.90

TE

Travis Kelce

33.50

Season Leaders

QB

Josh Allen

177.54

WR

Cooper Kupp

131.10

RB

Nick Chubb

119.00

TE

Travis Kelce

111.80

D/ST

Bills D/ST

67.00

PK

Daniel Carlson

61.00