Well.... this is going to be a long season...

Week 1 Blues

Fellas what on earth happened this weekend? One less preseason game and all the sudden we go limp-dick during one of the most exciting weekends on the year? TK, Austin, and Garrett, thank you for being appropriately rigid. Its not the worst we've ever done, we only managed 108 points in Week 1 of 2017 (yikes...) but yeah, not great Jim. So what happened??

Recaps

Tyler 100.72 - 87.02 Ryan

We can look at this score and say "wow this was bad" but its not even in the bottom fifty of all time. It was just... one of those games. Xavier Worthy was murdered by his own teammate and Isiah Pacheco was generally worthless, Scary Terry was a no-show and Dak was too worried about spitting at harmless, good-souled Georgia boys than actually finding the endzone, just the epitome of this weeks performances. Tmo did manage the win, will start the season without a Top 5 and will need to reevaulate his QB room (those 35 on the bench would have been nice, wouldn't they?). I'd say Ryan has some decisions to make as well, but somehow after 1 week his entire bench is already in the hospital soooo I guess just keep your chin up?

Jake 90.78 - 113.08 Mike

Another unimpressive debut for two teams, Mike's whole week was saved by the predictably outrageous showing from Derrick Henry. But 17 COMBINED points from both teams' RB2 and WR1 is pretty horrendous. The bright side for each? Bench WRs showing potential (Pittman and Deebo each broke 20 while riding the pine) and the QB play looks sustainable. Mike, despite the relatively poor showing, still managed to get the Top 5 point with the win to start the season 2-0. Jake, shockingly, is 0-2. What a surprise. As long as Chase rebounds and Etienne keeps up the strong production, the season isn't quite over for him yet, but oof that's a bad start.

Nathan 106.72 - 149.28 Garrett

...Garrett? The man that only had 2 picks in the first 4 rounds? He starts the season with a bang? Well... hey props to you buddy. Guess Collin can be thanking you for carrying the Power Couple team this week despite his visible depression at your partnership. Baker and Zay Flowers both putting up 28, with some Garrett Wilson 22 seasoning on top is a great recipie for dubs. Nathan just slightly underperformed in almost all categories. One slightly down game won't kill you, but 8 of the 9 starters hitting under their prediction, well that might. Nathan did, despite TJ Hockenson's best efforts, manage to eke out a Top 5 score to go 1-1 on the weekend. Garrett turns now to face Mike in a big 2-0 vs 2-0 early season matchup that has usually leant Mike's way, 14-10 all time in favor of the flames.

Austin 131.56 - 100.84 Collin

Part of me finds a lot of satisfaction in Collin having to go tail-between-legs back to Garrett to thank him for salvaging thier week, even though 2025 Austin is a tough matchup to start the season. But the other part of me is like... fuck Austin bro. Sort of like Nathan, Collin just had one too many guys not put up what they needed, highlighted by a dismal 5.84 from Bo Nix (always been a Bo hater myself). But CMC put up 23, which will likely be a reliable source of points should he stay healthy, and he looks to have a RB corps that will at least carry their own weight. Unfortunatley for Collin, his early season matchups don't get any easier, he faces current #1 TK this week before a breather with Jake.

TK 163.06 - 95.32 John Luke

Don't do this to me again TK. Every damn year I sing your praises early, I get hopeful that you'll get another trophy (I certainly won't ever get one), but you somehow blow it. Don't. Fool. Me. Again. Take your $10 and pay an advisor to keep your team in line. John Allen ripping a 40 bomb right out of the gate, which correlates to James Cook's 21, those two along almost outscored half the league this week. It was a stress-free weekend for TK as JL had a pretty poor showing himself. Only 10 points from Joe Burrow and a tragic 1.5 from Mark Andrews is not how you win games. TK to 2-0, JL to 0-2. John Luke has a chance to right the ship this against a Jake team that does not exactly strike fear into the masses. This is a fun historical matchup, going into the 26th edition of it the all-time record is 13-12 John Luke, with just under 6,000 points scored collectively.

Power Couples

Here we go! Our fist Power Couples standings. Tiebreakers within the standings are the same as the normal standings.

	Total	Mike/TK	Austin/John Luke	Jake/Tyler	Collin/Garrett	Ryan/Nathan
Mike/TK	2-0		1-0	1-0
Austin/John Luke	1-1	0-1			1-0
Jake/Tyler	1-1	0-1				1-0
Collin/Garrett	1-1		0-1			1-0
Ryan/Nathan	0-2			0-1	0-1